I still consider God and Christ my leader; always have.
Who is your leader on this earth? Are you following Denver Snuffer?
No one. I now worship God through no medium. No, I am not following Denver Snuffer or any of the leaders of the dozens and dozens of branches or splinter groups of Mormonism that exist today and have existed since Joseph Smith died.
Are you joining another church / religion?
No; one was enough.
Do you still believe in God and Jesus Christ?
Yes, any minimal investigation of my blog here, will indicate the devotion I've had and still have to Christ.
Have You Studied "Come, Follow Me"?
I have been studying and teaching from "Come, Follow Me" longer than most members. I started studying and teaching from this manual since it was rolled out to the youth in 2013-2014 or so. I have studied and taught from it the last 4 years while I taught the 15 and 16 year-olds. Honestly, I wish it taught more about Jesus and less about, unique, LDS-specific doctrine. Feel free to look at all my lessons on this blog.
Satan is influencing you!
Maybe I should take the high-road on this, but maybe it's worth while to talk about this a bit.
What do we mean by Satan's influence? If I were to walk in the door of all the local Christian churches, sit down and tell the pastor about myself and be completely honest with him or her, I would be willing to bet they would say I'm not being influenced by Satan.
For me, if someone is being influenced by Satan, it means they are immoral. Immoral, to me, means:
- lying, not being honest or truthful; intending to deceive; cheating
- stealing, robbing, tax-evading, swindling, bilking
- cheating on a spouse; wrecking families
- lacking any virtue; such as justice, wisdom, courage or temperance
- embracing vice; all the opposites of the above; being corrupt, foolish, selfish, prideful, slothful, licentious or acting cowardly
- being abusive; physically, sexually or psychologically
- embracing, supporting or giving cover to any behavior above, when you are in a position to stop or prevent it, within reason
I'm not perfect, but I don't have any habits of any of the above. I don't think I'm being influenced by Satan.
Now, to a member of the Church, what they mean when they tell me I'm being influenced by Satan, is that I won't believe or say that Joseph Smith was called of God. And here is the kicker ... there is plenty of evidence Joseph often stepped into immoral behavior as listed above. Some members will try to ignore it or rationalize it. This is moral relativism. It wasn't moral in 1835, it isn't moral in 2019. If we are going to give Brother Joseph a break, then I would suggest to anyone who thinks I'm being influenced by Satan, to give me a break too. If Joseph passes the judgement bar, I think I will too.
We love you no matter what!
Thank you! This is a wonderful response! I love you too!
We often get so distracted by all this stuff that upsets people. It did upset me, but not anymore. I have simply let it go. When I let go of all those issues, I felt profound peace. I have been more content and less depressed and less anxious. I have had more empathy for people, I’ve been more kind and much less judgmental. Jill is my witness in all of this. For people we are close with ... meaning we interact with on a daily and weekly basis, they too have noticed the change in my demeanor. So all of that comes from simply letting it go and not putting it on a shelf and ignoring it. I choose to simply focus on my relationships; with God, Jill, my family and my community, insofar as those relationships are respectful and kind. I will always show love and respect to everyone and I hope I get it in return.
And I have to share one response - the best one in my opinion - I'll keep it anonymous, but it meant so much to me when I read this.
"I think the world of you, and always have. You are one of the most thoughtful individuals I have ever known. And I know that when individuals come to the conclusions that you have come to, there is a tenable fear of how friends and family will react. In the immortal words of Dolly Parton, I will always love you for who you are and what you have meant to me. If your path, whatever it is, gives you a closer connection to your savior and God, then take the path. Be happy and continue searching for what gives you peace and happiness. I love you."
The church is broad enough to accommodate divergent beliefs
I somewhat agree with this. As long as a person goes through the outward motions and keeps controversial things (i.e. the immoral issues) to themselves and doesn't loudly talk about them, then yes, the church can accommodate you. But this is how a person loses their integrity. Integrity means the inward and the outward are the same. One loses integrity when they "go through the motions" but are in pain and suffering on the inside; when their heart doesn't really believe what they are expected to say or expected to act.
We spoke to two leaders about our situation. Both of them thanked us for not speaking openly about these topics. If you can't speak your mind and share your heart in your church, then you're suffering in silence. I kept all this in for a long time and it hurt me mentally. It builds up in the dark; and depression, anxiety and fear creep in. You begin to think you are broken and worthless. I have learned so many people, in the church, have suffered many forms of mental illness. I can't help but wonder, judging by my own experience, that some of the dogma and culture in the church causes mental illness. And the fact that we can't talk about all these elephants in the room is sad.
That's all for now. I will probably add to this list as time goes on.
By and large, reactions from loved ones have been positive and supportive - very Christ-like!
