Sunday, January 13, 2019

CFM - January 7 to 13

Reading: Matthew 1; Luke 1

First Impressions

Fear

People are subject to fear.  Fear of loss; fear of the unknown; fear of uncertainty; fear of pain.

The angels that visited Mary, Joseph and Zechariah told them not to fear.  This is a message we all ought to repeat to ourselves.  To me, the first Great Commandment means that we are content with our fate and lot in life.  And to truly embrace the First Great commandment, we ought to also love our fate and lot in life.  This set of circumstances; these turn of events were meant for us.  The quicker we accept that fate and lot, the better off we are and we show God we love what He has given us.

No word from God will ever fail / virgin birth

This is a fascinating subject and I think a proper analysis will help dispel myths and help people have a proper balance between reality and faith.

In the KJV version, Luke 1:37 reads, "With God, nothing shall be impossible."  While in the NIV version, it reads, "No word from God will ever fail."

If anything is proclaimed that seems amazing or miraculous, we ought to go to great lengths to ensure it came from God.  We all know that humans are subject to being deceived and can deceive others.  This is the reason for scientific analysis; to detect when people are telling the truth or not.  Now, with Mary and the virgin birth - this truly is an extraordinary claim.  But not out of the realm of impossibility.  It is known, in the animal kingdom, that some animals can reproduce asexually.  It has never been proven with humans, but at least according to this article about a study, about 1% of the population claims to have had a virgin birth.

And this puts observers in an interesting spot.  Someone makes an amazing claim and they say it comes from God - how are we supposed to take this?  How are we, as individuals, going to ensure that this claim came from God or from the imagination of this other person?

For me personally, I will reserve judgement for myself.  I've seen and heard too many outlandish claims, from Scientologists, to Muslims to radical Christians to turn over my judgement and agree with their claims.  So, where do I fall with the virgin birth?  No where.  I'm not sure it really matters.

I think we all ought to be careful in thinking that if we ask God with enough faith, that He will give us a blessing.  I think too many people put a lot of hope in this scripture when they try to apply it to themselves.  They desire "blessing X" and they think that "with God, nothing is impossible" and they pray for it, but they don't receive it.  They then begin to blame themselves for not being worthy, or not having enough faith.

To people with this mindset, I would recommend that they check their desires.  The only thing they really have control over is their attitude.  All else is out of their control; their health, wealth, weather they will have a child or be child-less ... all of that is out of their control.  And if they extend their desires to one or all of those things, and they fail to get it, they may blame God!  And what a sad place to be in!  Rather, with all these things, they ought not to extend a desire toward them, and if they do, they should have a reserve clause: if it is according to God's will.

Some Questions from the Manual

Why did the Savior need to be born of a mortal mother and an immortal Father?


President Russell M. Nelson explained that the Atonement of Jesus Christ “required a personal sacrifice by an immortal being not subject to death. Yet He must die and take up His own body again. The Savior was the only one who could accomplish this. From His mother He inherited power to die. From His Father He obtained power over death” (“Constancy amid Change,” Ensign, Nov. 1993, 34).

I will be very honest and open here; why does the Atonement require a sacrifice by an immortal being?  This is one of those things that seems to fall under the category of some great mystery; pointing to some law in the Universe that we are unaware of.  And we've just been told; that's the way it is.  And a follow-up "meta" question here.  Why are we humans OK with some assumptions as this one, but we deny other similar assumptions by other non-Christian religions?  Anyway, not sure this really matters anyway.

One final thought on this subject; the word "sacrifice" in President Nelson's quote.  To me, the word sacrifice means the one doing the sacrificing loses something in return for something greater.  I think some examples are in order.

In chess, if I sacrifice my queen for a knight or rook, but win the game with that sacrifice, then mission accomplished!  I don't want to lose my queen, but my goal of winning the game is bigger than my fear of losing the queen.

For the kids to love Harry Potter, we learn of the many sacrifices people make through the books.  One stands out in my mind, when Dumbledore and Harry seek out a horcrux at a cave.  To gain entrance to the cave, Dumbledore has to cut his hand in a form of self-sacrifice and self-harm.  Later in the cave, he drinks poisonous water that inhibits him, so that he can gain access to the horcrux.  They accomplish the mission, but as we later find out, the horcrux was a fake, so mission not accomplished.  And this brings another aspect of what a sacrifice is: uncertainty.  It's one thing to "make a sacrifice" when you are guaranteed an outcome (i.e. sacrificing queen for a win in a chess game), but it is quite another when the odds are less than 100% or even less than 50%.

In my career, if I sacrifice time with family, in order to earn more money, so that I can then have more time off work to spend with my family, then mission accomplished!  But sometimes these sacrifices can be long and the work might change and I may find myself away from my family.

If my child needs an organ transplant to live, and I supply that organ and in the process die, then the sacrifice was worth it if my child lives.  But there is the factor of uncertainly, that I may die or worse, my child dies.

All of these thoughts fall under the science of risk management.  People have studied this time and time again.  Life is full of decisions and trade-offs.  We are willing to take risks, so long as we are somewhat confident in the outcome.

Now, back to Christ's sacrifice.  If He knew with certainly he was the Son of God, and therefore immortal, then it would seem that His sacrifice is more analogous with a queen sacrifice in a chess game, for a certain win.  He was perfectly willing to suffer and die, because He knew he was going to live again just three days after dying.  And not only just live again, but be immortal.

But what if He didn't know for sure he was the Son of God?  What if there were some degree of uncertainly on His part?  We certainly get this vibe when we analyze the temptations of Christ in the wilderness.  If He were uncertain about his mortality, then that makes this a higher-risk sacrifice.

God’s blessings come in His own time

Indeed they do!  It is we humans who put too much desire in things out of our control.  If we are anxious about getting a blessing, we are putting ourselves at risk of violating the First Great commandment.  Better to be in a position to love your fate from God, than to extend your desire for something out of your control.  If you love your fate, then you will love what God sends your way on His timetable, and you will never be anxious.

We see lots of anxiety in Mary, Joseph, Elizabeth and Zechariah.

The faithful willingly submit to God’s will

The CFM manual says, "Like Mary, we sometimes find that God’s plans for our life are quite different from what we had planned."

Speaking from experience, I've learned that God's plan for me is very different from many others in my family and community.  For some, it is to remain a faithful member of one congregation or church, while for me, God has lead me on a different path.  I submit my will to God and I try to accept His will for me every single day.  I used to have lots of anxiety, thinking I could plan and control my fate and plan.  But I've learned, painfully sometimes, that I can't control it.  I have to accept God's will for me.  Accepting God's will is at the heart of the First Great commandment.

Friday, January 11, 2019

Qs&As and Reactions to Some Things That Have Been Said To Me

Who is your leader now?
I still consider God and Christ my leader; always have.

Who is your leader on this earth?  Are you following Denver Snuffer?
No one.  I now worship God through no medium.  No, I am not following Denver Snuffer or any of the leaders of the dozens and dozens of branches or splinter groups of Mormonism that exist today and have existed since Joseph Smith died.

Are you joining another church / religion?
No; one was enough.

Do you still believe in God and Jesus Christ?
Yes, any minimal investigation of my blog here, will indicate the devotion I've had and still have to Christ.

Have You Studied "Come, Follow Me"?
I have been studying and teaching from "Come, Follow Me" longer than most members.  I started studying and teaching from this manual since it was rolled out to the youth in 2013-2014 or so.  I have studied and taught from it the last 4 years while I taught the 15 and 16 year-olds.  Honestly, I wish it taught more about Jesus and less about, unique, LDS-specific doctrine.  Feel free to look at all my lessons on this blog.

Satan is influencing you!
Maybe I should take the high-road on this, but maybe it's worth while to talk about this a bit.

What do we mean by Satan's influence?  If I were to walk in the door of all the local Christian churches, sit down and tell the pastor about myself and be completely honest with him or her, I would be willing to bet they would say I'm not being influenced by Satan.

For me, if someone is being influenced by Satan, it means they are immoral.  Immoral, to me, means:

  • lying, not being honest or truthful; intending to deceive; cheating
  • stealing, robbing, tax-evading, swindling, bilking
  • cheating on a spouse; wrecking families
  • lacking any virtue; such as justice, wisdom, courage or temperance
  • embracing vice; all the opposites of the above; being corrupt, foolish, selfish, prideful, slothful, licentious or acting cowardly
  • being abusive; physically, sexually or psychologically
  • embracing, supporting or giving cover to any behavior above, when you are in a position to stop or prevent it, within reason
I'm not perfect, but I don't have any habits of any of the above.  I don't think I'm being influenced by Satan.

Now, to a member of the Church, what they mean when they tell me I'm being influenced by Satan, is that I won't believe or say that Joseph Smith was called of God.  And here is the kicker ... there is plenty of evidence Joseph often stepped into immoral behavior as listed above.  Some members will try to ignore it or rationalize it.  This is moral relativism.  It wasn't moral in 1835, it isn't moral in 2019.  If we are going to give Brother Joseph a break, then I would suggest to anyone who thinks I'm being influenced by Satan, to give me a break too.  If Joseph passes the judgement bar, I think I will too.


We love you no matter what!
Thank you!  This is a wonderful response!  I love you too!

We often get so distracted by all this stuff that upsets people.  It did upset me, but not anymore.  I have simply let it go.  When I let go of all those issues, I felt profound peace.  I have been more content and less depressed and less anxious.  I have had more empathy for people, I’ve been more kind and much less judgmental.  Jill is my witness in all of this.  For people we are close with ... meaning we interact with on a daily and weekly basis, they too have noticed the change in my demeanor.  So all of that comes from simply letting it go and not putting it on a shelf and ignoring it.   I choose to simply focus on my relationships; with God, Jill, my family and my community, insofar as those relationships are respectful and kind.  I will always show love and respect to everyone and I hope I get it in return.

And I have to share one response - the best one in my opinion - I'll keep it anonymous, but it meant so much to me when I read this.
"I think the world of you, and always have. You are one of the most thoughtful individuals I have ever known. And I know that when individuals come to the conclusions that you have come to, there is a tenable fear of how friends and family will react.  In the immortal words of Dolly Parton, I will always love you for who you are and what you have meant to me.  If your path, whatever it is, gives you a closer connection to your savior and God, then take the path. Be happy and continue searching for what gives you peace and happiness. I love you."


The church is broad enough to accommodate divergent beliefs
I somewhat agree with this.  As long as a person goes through the outward motions and keeps controversial things (i.e. the immoral issues) to themselves and doesn't loudly talk about them, then yes, the church can accommodate you.  But this is how a person loses their integrity.  Integrity means the inward and the outward are the same.  One loses integrity when they "go through the motions" but are in pain and suffering on the inside; when their heart doesn't really believe what they are expected to say or expected to act.

We spoke to two leaders about our situation.  Both of them thanked us for not speaking openly about these topics.  If you can't speak your mind and share your heart in your church, then you're suffering in silence.  I kept all this in for a long time and it hurt me mentally.  It builds up in the dark; and depression, anxiety and fear creep in.  You begin to think you are broken and worthless.  I have learned so many people, in the church, have suffered many forms of mental illness.  I can't help but wonder, judging by my own experience, that some of the dogma and culture in the church causes mental illness.  And the fact that we can't talk about all these elephants in the room is sad.

That's all for now.  I will probably add to this list as time goes on.

By and large, reactions from loved ones have been positive and supportive - very Christ-like!