On Members Saying That I'm Following Satan

I've discussed this in a previous blog post, but some people in our community have continued to verbally say that my family is being lead by Satan.

Some of what I write below, I've said before.  Some of what I write below is additional food for thought.

What does it mean when someone is under Satan's influence or being lead by Satan?

If I were to walk in the door of all the local Christian churches, sit down and tell the pastor about myself and be completely honest with him or her, I would be willing to bet they would say I'm not being influenced by Satan.

For me, if someone is being influenced by Satan, it means they are immoral.  Immoral, to me, means:

• committing murder; attempting to commit murder; war-mongering; genocide
• stealing, robbing, tax-evading, swindling, bilking
• cheating on a spouse; wrecking families; committing adultery
• being abusive; physically, sexually or psychologically
• lying, not being honest or truthful; intending to deceive; cheating
• embracing, supporting or giving cover to any behavior above, when you are in a position to stop or prevent it, within reason
• embracing vice; being corrupt, foolish, selfish, prideful, slothful, licentious or acting cowardly
• lacking any virtue; such as justice, wisdom, courage or temperance

I'm not perfect, but I don't have any habits of any of the above.  We all may have lied or have dabbled in vices at some point, but for me, none of those vices have turned into a habit and therefore is not part of my character.  I don't think I'm being influenced by Satan.  In fact, my striving has always been, and continues to be to:

• support life; mine, my family, those who benefit from my charitable contributions and taxes
• live honestly, in work and personal life; try to be transparent as reason permits
• being faithful to my wife and children; I've never physically abused them and I have tried to parent productively, without emotionally abusing them ... anyone can ask them how I've done and I won't be fearful of the answer
• I try to ensure justice is pursued where I can influence it; if someone has committed a crime or done something morally wrong, I try to help them or if needed, report it to the police/authorities
• I strive to live a life of virtue every day; I'm not 100% successful all the time, but I am striving to be more just, more wise, more courageous and more temperate

I think it should go without saying, but I will make it explicit.  I do not worship Satan.  I do not participate in black magic, voodoo, Satanic rituals or anything of that kind.

Now, to a member of the Church, what they mean when they tell me I'm being influenced by Satan, is that I won't believe or say that Joseph Smith was called of God or that the Mormon church is the one true church on the earth today and all other religions are an abomination before God or that the current prophets, seers and revelators of the Mormon church are the only men who speak for God on the earth today.  Because of that "thought crime" people believe and verbally say I'm being influenced by Satan.

What confounds me, though, is that there is plenty of evidence Joseph often stepped into immoral behavior as listed above.  Some members will try to ignore it or rationalize it.  This is moral relativism.  It wasn't moral in 1835, it isn't moral in 2019.  If we are going to give Brother Joseph a break, then I would suggest to anyone who thinks I'm being influenced by Satan, to give me a break too.  If Joseph passes the judgement bar, I think I will too.

Also, at the heart of this issue, for me, is trust.  I believed my leaders and teachers.  I trusted them to tell me the truth.  I believed my leaders and teachers when they said the peep stone was an anti-Mormon fabrication designed to make us lose our faith.  I believed them when they said that Joseph practicing polygamy was false and an anti-Mormon lie or that he made up the Book of Abraham.  I believed them when they said it was God who cursed wicked people with black skin.

When I later learned the truth, I realized my leaders and teachers, either wittingly or unwittingly, didn't tell me the truth.  That hurts and I lost trust in them.  How can I have faith in leaders where there is no trust?

In my search to understand why people are saying my family and I are under the influence of Satan, I came across this conference talk by James Faust: The Great Imitator.  One passage stood out to me.  I share this passage to those who think or say I'm following Satan.

Let us not become so intense in our zeal to do good by winning arguments or by our pure intention in disputing doctrine that we go beyond good sense and manners, thereby promoting contention, or say and do imprudent things, invoke cynicism, or ridicule with flippancy. In this manner, our good motives become so misdirected that we lose friends and, even more serious, we come under the influence of the devil. I recently heard in a special place, “Your criticism may be worse than the conduct you are trying to correct.”

I do not have any bad or ill feelings towards people who say this of me or my family.  My deepest desire is that they would take the time to understand what I've been through - to walk in my shoes - to ask questions and get to know me, then to exercise empathy.  If we have to agree to disagree, so be it.  But please make the effort to know me before you judge me so harshly and say that I and my family are following Satan.  We simply are not.

November Week 1: Spiritual Self-reliance and Finding Answers to Gospel Questions

Scriptures

Read and discuss the Parable of the Ten Virgins (Matthew 25:1-13)

Read and discuss Moroni 10:3-5
- read, study
- remember the mercy of God
- ask God if something is not true
- ask with a sincere heart and real intent
- have faith in Christ

Read and discuss D&C 58:26-28
- God doesn't have to command you in all things
- If he does, then you're a slothful servant!
- be anxiously engaged in a good cause; do a lot on your own; be good
- we are our own agents; if you do good, you won't lose your reward

What is a testimony to you?  What does it mean to "have a testimony?"

The Planner Assignment

Story of moving into my Planning assignment at work.  In March 2015, I new nothing of financial planning at work.  I didn't know what terms such as first incurred or recovery or affiliate meant.  I sat in a week-long workshop with my new team and it was like I was in a foreign country - I had no clue what they were talking about.  When it came time to provide support for my customers, I simply had to trust my mentors when they told me what to do and what to say.  I was told it would take about six months before I really understood everything.  Up to that point, I just had to give it my best shot, ask lots of questions and learn as best I could.

Eventually, the six months passed and despite some mistakes, both major and minor, I was still in the assignment.  And sure enough, I pretty much understood everything.  It wasn't a perfect understanding, but I no longer needed to rely on my mentors for constant help.

Then all during the year 2017, I have been the mentor to others and have grasped the nuances of the assignment.  I know what things are important and what things aren't.  I know what needs to be changed and what should be kept.  In a sense, I'm a thought leader and considered a basic expert.

How does this story apply to the topic of gaining a testimony and spiritual self-reliance?

Be Sure You're on Solid Footing

Each one of us has to be able to answer for herself or himself, as to what they believe.  And you will need to defend that position or belief.  If you're not willing to defend your beliefs, then they really aren't your beliefs.

Personally speaking, the reason I love Helaman 5:12, is because it talks about a rock and building your foundation on a rock - on something that won't move out from beneath you.  One of the great tragedies of life is seeing someone committed to something, only to discover that what they had committed to really was not what they believed in.

I love the moral courage of Batman in Batman Begins.  Ras al Gul frees Bruce Wayne from prison and Bruce climbs to this sanctuary high in the mountains.  The League of Shadows trains Bruce and Bruce is committed to them.  As a final act of loyalty, they ask Bruce to behead a thief and murderer.  Bruce says he is not an executioner.  And at that moment, he has to decide on whether to keep to his own moral code or go along with the League of Shadows.  Obviously he decides to do what is right in his mind and escapes the League of Shadows.

Finding Answers to Your Gospel Questions

1 Nephi 15:2-11
- Laman & Lemuel had questions but did not put the work in to find answers

JSH 1:10-18
- JS had questions and went to God to ask

What questions did prophets and people in the scriptures have?
- Let them look and find other examples of how people got answers

What questions do people ask today?
- Write them on the board

What sources do we have to help us answer these questions?
- scriptures.lds.org
- lds.org
- mormonessays.com (links to lds.org)
- parents, leaders
- general conference talks
- church publications

- google … is google a valid source?  What is google other than other people who have gone down the same path of questions and have shared their answers?

temporal and spiritual self-reliance

the blessing of self-reliance is greater freedom.  it's freedom from debt and servitude.  self-reliance brings blessings of contentment and peace.  as we have greater freedom, we are able to care for ourselves, our family and others.

elder hales, in his april 2009 general conference talk, talked about becoming provident providers.  he addressed his talk to "all whose freedom to choose has been diminished by the effects of ill-advised choices of the past" as well as those who have made choices "that have led to excessive debt and addictions to food, drugs, pornography, and other patterns of thought and action that diminish one's sense of self-worth."

some of the principals he taught were:

- Exodus 20:17 - "thou shalt not covet."  wanting what others want is coveting.  coveting leads to poor choices.  many people go into debt to "keep up with the jones."  coveting leads to mindless choices where we follow the latest and greatest fad.  coveting leaves us poor financially and spiritually.

- i can't afford it - say this often when tempted to go into debt or to commit a sin.  if you are tempted to unnecessarily upgrade, then tell yourself i can't afford it.  if you are tempted to eat too much food or indulge in pornography, tell yourself i can't afford it.

- alternatively, you can say i don't need it.  do we really know the difference between and want and a need?  you want a donut, but you don't need it.  you want to buy a boat, but you don't need it.  you need to buy a boat because the one you use to catch fish to provide for your family is old.  i want a steak dinner, but i don't need it.  i want to play a game on my phone, but i don't need to.  i need to read my scriptures.  these are just some simple examples.

- one of my favorite scriptures is 2 nephi 9:51 which reads wherefore, do not spend money for that which is of no worth, nor your labor for that which cannot satisfy.  hearken diligently unto me, and remember the words which i have spoken; and come unto the holy one of israel, and feast upon that which perisheth not, neither can be corrupted.

some personal stories i learned early on ...

during the summer, especially on days in the mid-afternoon hours when it was hottest and when i was the most bored, i would go across the street to see what my neighbors were up to.  they had lots of entertainment over there.  they had a pool, a trampoline, video games and junk food.  every once in awhile, i would go over there and they'd let me in.  in the cool living room, we would play on the nintendo.  they were really good at video games.  i'd try to keep up, but would usually lose.  after a few hours, my eyes were bugged out and i'd head home.  i'd feel dazed and a bit groggy as i went home.  when i walked it my home, i felt a bit better.  i realized at a young age that playing video games, although fun, it really wasn't satisfying.  i would feel a bit more empty for playing them.

i would sometimes ask my parents for a video game system, but there was no way they'd ever buy one for me.  instead, once a year, we'd go to the grocery store and rent a game system.  i would stay up late friday night and play and play.  after playing and sleeping in the next day, i would have that same groggy feeling ... and i wasn't really satisfied.

on the other hand, there were activities i would engage in that would leave me feeling satisfied.  my dad made me mow the lawn ... every time i finished mowing the lawn, i would feel a sense of pride and accomplishment and i felt satisfied.  one summer, i helped my dad build a fence - upon completing the fence, i felt satisfied.  another project we worked on was the back yard deck.  we built a deck and then planted roses around it.

even when i played basketball and i played hard, i would feel a sense of accomplishment and i would feel satisfied.

of course, another activity in which i often engaged, was reading the scriptures and even memorizing scriptures.  each night, i would get into my bed, open my scriptures and read and memorize.  whenever i completed reading the book of mormon, i felt satisfied.

i think the conclusion here is we all need to pause and consider how we spend our time and effort.  we ought to observe the time when we are coveting and once we notice we are coveting, we need to choose wisely.  remember -  i don't need it or i can't afford it.  these words ought to come to our minds more often.  and once we develop these good habits, we begin to enter the world of self-reliance - both temporal and spiritual.